MORE JACK THAN GOD

The rocker of my generation, as I see it.

NAME

Jack White III.

Yeah! That´s a great name. I´m sure it gave Jack some respect in the hood. Even if you don´t like White Stripes, you just prick up your ears as soon as you discover the royalness in it. Wise man.

ABILITES

He sings, plays guitar, piano and drums. A real pain in the ass for any parents to raise. I picture Mrs White talking in the hairdressing salon, saying to her friends, “Well, Little Jackie makes noise with almost everything. He slams things on the ground, grabs a spoon and crashes the saucepan. We are thinking of giving him some musical instruments. Or maybe some really strong medication. I hope to take a decision this week”.

This guy is a professional swagger. White Stripes, The Racounters, Dead Weather, solo album, and record producer. What is more, he opened his own record label: Third Man Records.

His alter-egos work perfectly. Maybe Dead Weather´s “Cut like a buffalo” sounds pretty much like Strangler´s “Peaches”? Don´t worry, it´s ok. We won´t tell anyone.

I almost forgot! He played “Elvis” in the Dewey Cox movie. So, we can also consider him an actor. Can we? I hope Al Pacino won´t read this.

ATTITUDE

Just two things Jack said:

1. “I have enough money to live on vacation for the nex twenty years”.
2. “I have three dads: my biological father, God and Bob Dylan.”

He doesn´t achieve “bigmouth” levels like Liam and Noel Gallagher, but White´s a pretty clever guy and declares such things freely, just like a minor elevator chat with your neighbor. “Nice day, uh?” “Great one! I´m recording with all my three bands and then maybe have some casual sex with girls I haven´t met yet.” Lucky bastard.

He played a like a thiry seconds concert with the White Stripes in order to be part of the Guiness World Records under the name of “Shortest concert ever”. As a musician, he´s a terrific publicist.

MOVING TIMELINE

He looks into the future with his feet stuck in american roots. Why? Tries to look trendy and makes records sound up to date, but you won´t see White denying his cowboy persona. He created “Third man Records”. Where? In Nashville! “Fool”, great antonym for “Jack”. Obviously, this guy is aware of the significance that place gives to his work. He loves Dylan (even played with him) and Cash, and doesn´t want to miss the chance to become one of them in the future. Although he isn´t as talented as these two legends, he manages to create the ideal atmosphere to deceive us and make us believe he`ll be in the podium with Johnny and Bobby.

MISTERY

Is Meg his wife? Or are they just brothers? Recording five albums at the same time? Won´t release any record until 2018? Quitting tours? Why the hell should we worry about these things?

TALENT

Is like UFOs. Many people believes its existence, but is hard to prove.